Why We Can’t Quit Bad Beliefs Even When We Know Better.
Normally, I dislike the idea of beliefs because they can be the death of critical thinking.
But, we need to believe in something to move forward with a bit of certainty.
So here’s how I look at them.
Beliefs are like houseplants; we need to water them with evidence and prune away the dead branches of outdated thinking.
But, we don’t normally do that.
We humans, we strut around with the swagger of know-it-alls, convinced we’ve cracked the code of existence.
But the truth is far more humbling.
We’re all just a bunch of opinionated folks stumbling through life with more bluster than brainpower.
Let me put that in perspective for you.
From the moment you and I take our first breath, we’re bombarded with a stream of beliefs.
Cultural narratives, societal norms, and the whispers of family and friends. They’re everywhere.
These influences have shaped your assumptions and worldview before you could’ve even tie your own shoes.
So you become obedient unknowingly to these inherited belief systems around you.
You and I instinctively chase after “facts” that reinforce our existing narratives.
And you guessed it, we attack any evidence that dares to challenge our comfortable delusions.
And yet, despite the large evidence that show how our minds cling to irrational beliefs, most of us remain blissfully unaware of our mental bondage.
We swagger around, convinced we’re free-thinking individuals, objectively observing the world as it “truly” is.
It’s a harsh pill to swallow, but the truth is undeniable:
We are all prisoners of our own belief systems, often to the detriment of both ourselves and the world around us.
So, the question here is:
Are you truly seeing the world clearly?
How to break these bad beliefs out of our mind and life?
This post is for you to answer that.
Let’s get going.
Cognitive Biases and Psychological Factors on Beliefs
Impact of Biases on Our Beliefs
Our beliefs are heavily influenced by cognitive biases, often without us realizing it.
On paper, there are so many biases that play out here.
But let’s choose the most common biases that shapes our beliefs.
The first one is the confirmation bias.
I’m sure you know what this is.
It’s when you basically tend to seek out and favor information that confirms your existing beliefs and dismissing contradictory evidence.
I wrote about this in more depth in my previous post on why trusting yourself is not attainable.
But let me give you an example.
Let’s say you have a strong preference for a specific brand of smartphone over others.
So you’re more likely to notice and focus on reviews or features that highlight its benefits.
And as a result, you might unconsciously ignore or explain away any drawbacks or criticisms about it.
Another impactful bias that you and I are prone to be under is the sunk cost fallacy.
This is when it becomes too hard for you to let go of a belief or an idea if you have spent so much time, energy or effort into it.
This is still true even if your idea is not longer objectively making sense.
For example, let’s say you invested in a startup and later discovered that the company had ethical issues or wasn’t performing well.
Despite learning this, you might continue to support the startup because you find it hard to accept that your initial investment have gone to waste.
Surely, there comes a point when you will realize often the hard way that you should’ve stopped a long time ago.
You get the point now.
I’d still encourage you to read the previous post because there are so many other biases that you probably are unaware of how influential they are.
Now, let’s get nerdy a bit and tackle another aspect of why we hold on to certain beliefs.
The Amygdala Inside Your Brain is Guilty Too
Deep within your brain lurks the amygdala, an almond-shaped region that acts as a personal bodyguard.
It’s constantly on the lookout for threats.
This evolutionary hangover was useful for our ancestors in avoiding predators and survive for sure.
But it can lead us to irrational fears and biased beliefs in the modern world.
The amygdala attuned to anything that triggers an emotional response, positive or negative.
When it detects something it perceives as a threat to you, it will set you up for fight-or-flight mode.
This visceral response can happen before your conscious mind even registers what’s going on.
So in such a heightened state, the amygdala bypasses the rational parts of your brain.
It starts to make snap judgments based on limited information and preconceived notions you have.
For example, let’s say you have a deep-seated fear of snakes.
Your amygdala may interpret a coiled garden hose as a venomous threat and trigger an instinctive fear response.
This happens even though your conscious mind knows better.
The same happens with more abstract “threats” like conflicting ideologies or unfamiliar cultures.
Now, this makes a lot of sense from a biological perspective.
Our body and mind actually hate the concept of change, whether it’s beliefs or anything for that matter.
Why you might ask?
Well, because we prefer to be in a state of comfort, homeostasis to be more nerdy.
So, your mind will come up with whatever it can conjure up to stop you from making that change because its not used to this before.
And that’s why, it’s hard to change our beliefs more often than not.
But there’s a caveat.
To skip this, you must learn to override the amygdala’s knee-jerk reactions to what’s happening around you.
This is where engaging the prefrontal cortex, the rational, decision-making part of the brain, comes handy.
So whenever something comes up that requires you to change some beliefs or ideas, don’t react, take a minute and assess the facts around.
This is important to developing your self-awareness and weaken the amygdala’s grip.
All of that will ultimately lead you to make more objective evaluations.
The last thing you and I want is to be manipulated or swayed to make wrong calls when it matters the most.
Internal Influences on Shaping Our Beliefs
Fear of Change
Ok, so now you know why we fear change from a biological lens.
Here’s another reason that will make more sense to you.
Letting go of long-held beliefs you have can feel like jumping into the abyss.
You cling to these beliefs because of two reasons:
- they’re familiar to you and you’re ok with.
- abandoning them means going into the great unknown, and that’s a terrifying prospect for you and your mind.
Think about it this way:
your core beliefs have been woven into your identity over years that directed you through this world.
To have your beliefs challenged is akin to having the ground shake beneath your feet.
No wonder the thought alone fills us with dread and discomfort!
Let me give you an example that will prove how far we shockingly go just to be out of change.
A study published in Nature Communications found that a 50% chance of receiving a shock was the most stressful scenario for participants.
More stressful than knowing for certain they would or would not receive a shock.
The researchers suggest this is because uncertainty causes significant stress and anxiety.
Crazy, right?
This shows how our tendency to avoid ambiguity at all costs directly feeds into our fear of revising long-standing beliefs.
I think it’s safe to say that holding onto irrational or outdated convictions may seem insane to you and me from an outside perspective.
But for the true believer, questioning these established beliefs means abandoning a core part of their identity.
It’s a step into the chasm of the unknown without a safety net.
Or so how we might think about this!
Our Ego is a Villain
Our egos cling to beliefs that inflate our self-importance.
This gets in the way of seeing the truth most of the time.
I get it really.
It’s really hard to admit when you’re wrong about something because it makes you feel bad about yourself.
So your ego want to protect you from feeling dumb or flawed, so it starts to find ways to distort reality.
For example, if your friend points out a mistake you made, your first instinct is probably to get defensive and make excuses.
That’s your ego kicking in, trying to maintain your self-image as a competent, good person instead of taking accountability.
It’s natural to want to view yourself positively, but this tendency to self-deceive prevents personal growth.
You end up stuck in your ways, unable to change your mind even when faced with evidence your beliefs are wrong.
The only way out is to get better at catching your ego in the act and to not take yourself seriously. Be humble!
When you feel resistant to an idea that goes against your beliefs, pause and ask yourself why.
Is it your ego just trying to protect your self-image?
Or is what you’re hearing just irrational and makes no sense?
The more honest you can be about your flaws and biases, the more open you’ll become to change.
A little humble pie can be hard to swallow but worthwhile in the end.
Think about it this way:
Letting go of your ego is like finally taking off a pair of tight shoes, it’s uncomfortable at first, but feels much better in the long run.
Exposure to Something Familiar Shape Our Beliefs
Sometimes, deeply ingrained beliefs can be incredibly resistant to change despite any contradictory evidence we know.
Consider illogical or cultural practices that you know are irrational.
Even though you recognize their flaws, you may notice many others passionately clinging to these beliefs.
Why does this happen?
It often stems from a lack of self-awareness and critical thinking, combined with constant exposure to certain ideas or beliefs.
This phenomenon is pretty much present in everything.
From social media to influential figures and organizations, all shape our perceptions and behaviors in their own ways.
They craft narratives that reinforces our existing beliefs through echo chambers.
For instance, imagine you encounter misinformation or biased perspectives.
Whether it’s about health, career, environment, these narratives can be compelling.
They may distort facts or manipulate emotions, making it challenging for us to question or reconsider deeply held beliefs.
So ultimately, our ability to critically evaluate information and make informed choices is crucial.
They say now that attention is the new big thing.
That means it’s key for us to recognize where our attention is going and what influences our thinking regardless of external pressures.
This self-awareness helps us navigate complex belief systems and avoid pitfalls like conformity or manipulation.
Now let me close the loop on where I’m going with this.
You see, when you’re immersed in communities and social circles aligned with your belief system, something will happen.
It creates a self-perpetuating cycle within you that is extremely resistant to outside influences.
In other words:
the more deeply rooted AND present or seen a belief becomes, the higher the psychological barrier to letting it go.
Our pattern-seeking brains will even unconsciously distort new information to protect that belief.
Sadly for some of us, having a sense of ‘belonging’ to something with others can outweigh any rationale altogether.
Now that’s a sign of low self-esteem and a fast track to self-sabotage.
Attachments, trauma, brainwashing and manipulation to name a few are some reasons why.
How to Break Unwanted Beliefs
Change The Belief Itself or The Evidence That Supports That Belief
The first hurdle is clearly identifying the specific belief that you need to change.
Our beliefs as we now know are often deeply ingrained that we may not even recognize them as distinct thoughts we’re clinging to.
Let’s take an example to demonstrate this better.
Say that you have always walked around with the belief “I’m just not a math person.”
This could be due to difficulties in a previous math class or receiving negative feedback from a teacher.
Now, your role is to be an investigator.
– What is the origin of this belief?
– Was it internalized from a negative experience or outside influences?
– Does this belief hold up logically and rationally when scrutinized?
– Has this belief stopped you from working in finance or accounting (areas you liked before?)
– What contradictory data or perspectives are you potentially ignoring?
– Any facts or proof to support or oppose this belief?
– Do you think there’s something you can do to take the upper hand over this belief?
You just have to go through the rabbit hole of these questions and have an open mind to do what you can to override this limiting beliefs.
So in this example, you may decide to take an online course about algebra.
Or simply realize that you were internalizing this fear with no good evidence to prove it.
Here’s another more common example.
“Money is the root of all evil” belief,
– Is money itself evil or just a tool that can be used for good or bad purposes?
– How is this belief actually benefiting or serving you?
– Is it just a convenient excuse?
The belief of “not being a math person” serves as a justification for not putting in effort but restricts academic potential.
The anti-money belief might subconsciously justify a lack of financial success.
– What fears or insecurities is this belief potentially masking or helping you avoid?
Our minds tend to simply rebuild the same belief again using mental gymnastics and rationalization.
We have to proactively replace it with a new, more reasoned perspective through things like:
- Consuming content promoting healthier views (e.g. “money mindset” experts advocating seeing wealth as a positive resource).
- Exposing yourself to fresh perspectives that disprove the belief (e.g. examples of people overcoming early math struggles)
- Actively putting the new belief into practice (taking a new math class from a fresh mindset)
Keeping a dedicated journal to work through emotional resistance and track your progress provides accountability.
The process is rarely linear and major belief revisions can manifest identity crises as you reshape your worldview.
But persistently chipping away at the foundations of irrational beliefs creates room for more grounded, flexible understanding to take root.
Changing your beliefs starts with pulling out the weeds but ultimately requires nurturing healthy new seeds through purposeful work.
It’s simpler than snapping your fingers but infinitely more empowering in the long run.
Thanks for reading!
What in your experience have you seen to be he biggest obstacle that stopped you from changing at some point?
Drop your thoughts in the comment section 🙂
Until next time!
