Gender Roles: All Women Need to Know This About Men
What is Gender Role in a Nutshell
Before we dive into the main topic, the idea of gender roles will come often. Let’s briefly clear that out.
Gender roles are like unwritten scripts that society hands us based on our biological sex.
In other words, they’re the expectations and behaviors that a culture considers appropriate for you and me as men and women.
And the reason why you have been hearing this term quite often is that modern society has decided that these roles aren’t set in stone.
Some people think that sex is the same as gender while other believe it’s malleable.
This is a topic for another time.
Now, I want you to think of gender roles as a pair of shoes.
In the old times, we were given work boots; expected to be the breadwinners, strong and stoic.
Women, on the other hand, were handed dainty slippers; expected to be nurturing homemakers and caregivers.
But just like shoes, these roles can pinch and cause discomfort if they don’t fit right.
Today, we’re seeing a shift.
It’s like we’re all trying on different shoes to see what fits best.
Now, some men are excelling as stay-at-home dads while some women are doing pretty well in the corporate world.
Ok, you can agree or disagree about this new wave of change, and that’s fine.
It’s a topic for another day as it’s beyond the scope of this post. I just want you to know what gender role is in simple terms.
This is key for this post going forward, especially for women reading this, for many reasons.
It allows us to:
- Recognize our own expectations and where they come from
- Communicate more effectively with our partners about roles and responsibilities
- Challenge some harmful stereotypes as a result of gender roles that limit us both as men and women
- Create relationships based on our own strengths rather than societal norms
Now that we set up the playing field, let’s talk about what women need to know about men in the context of gender roles.
What Healthy Masculine Men Need The Most
Ok ladies, let’s talk about what truly drives us men at our core.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just about physical needs or material success (or our stomach).
What we need the most is to feel wanted, valuable, and useful. That’s it really.
This isn’t just a preference; it’s a fundamental need that shapes our sense of self and role in our relationships and society.
It’s as essential to our well-being as emotional support is often considered for you as a women.
But in our rapidly evolving society where gender roles are tarnishing that, there’s a question to ask:
How can you as a woman fulfill our needs while maintaining our own independence and strength?
The answers are not rocket science, and you’ll be surprised how easy it is.
Let’s break it down.
To feel wanted is to go beyond the physical side of it.
It’s about acknowledging and appreciating your man’s unique qualities.
When you compliment his skills, his character, or his efforts, you’re feeding this need.
Recognize his contributions, both big and small. Express genuine admiration for his abilities and qualities.
That’s all it takes for us to feel wanted and avoid any emotional meltdown.
To feel valuable. you need to ask us about our input or thoughts.
Involve him in decisions that affect both of you.
Seek his opinion on important matters, whether it’s about your career moves or life decisions.
You reinforce his sense of worth when you demonstrate that you value his thoughts and perspectives.
That doesn’t mean you’re incapable of making your own decisions, it is just a matter of appreciating their ideas.
And finally, to be useful is to allow or make him help you out or take initiative for you which adds to his masculine appeal.
I think this is where gender roles have taken a sharp twist down the valley.
We live in a time where independence is highly prized and some feminists are all about erasing any dependencies for men.
There’s simply no way for that to happen or a society to function without men.
Just as much as it is for women.
We all have our skillset that make certain jobs or ideas better suited for men than women, and vice versa.
So allowing your man to be useful can feel counterintuitive.
When you allow him to help or support you, you’re not showing weakness; you’re providing him an opportunity to fulfill a core need.
So let him open the door for you when he wants.
Let him be the rock he needs you to rely on as a partner, not as a weakened individual. HUGE difference here.
The psychological impact when these needs are met is profound.
We men become more confident, emotionally available, and deeply committed to our relationships.
We are more likely to communicate openly and invest heavily in the relationship’s success and your success as well.
Conversely, when these needs go unmet, the effects can be detrimental.
This is why most men tend to swing elsewhere.
Here, we may become withdrawn, seek validation elsewhere, or struggle with self-esteem issues.
This can lead to communication breakdowns and distance in the relationship as you might expect.
When was the last time you saw a man staying faithful or content in a relationship if none of these were met?!
Surely, the same applies for women here who feel undervalued and unsupported.
It’s important to note that this need for feeling wanted, valuable, and useful extends beyond romantic relationships:
- In families: Sons and fathers who feel valued and needed are more likely to remain engaged and emotionally present.
- At work: Male colleagues who feel their contributions are appreciated tend to be more collaborative and loyal.
- In friendships: Men who feel valued in their social circles are more likely to maintain deep, long-lasting friendships.
So, understanding and meeting these needs isn’t about catering to outdated stereotypes.
It’s about recognizing that our core emotional needs that drive healthy masculinity can easily be met by simple things women can do.
Simple things that prevent so much chaos between you and your partner.
Now two final things to consider here for men and women I want to say.
For women, we need partners who complement our natural desire and we want to have.
And for men, it’s key to communicate your needs openly with your partner and be vulnerable.
This is a sign of emotional intelligence, not weakness.
The Women’s Rights Movement and Its Unintended Consequences on Gender Roles
The women’s rights movement, a powerful force that reshaped society, challenged norms and paved the way for gender equality.
“We deserve better” wasn’t a catchphrase, but an active call to change.
From gaining the right to vote to breaking glass ceilings in the workplace, the movement’s positive impacts are undeniable.
I’m actually glad women started this back in the day because our society now has evolved beyond measure.
But here’s where it gets interesting.
Like a stone thrown into a pond, the ripples of this movement reached far beyond its initial target.
While it empowered women, it also inadvertently affected masculinity in ways few could have predicted.
Let’s rewind a bit.
The women’s rights movement, particularly the second wave of feminism in the 1960s and 70s, fought against oppressive gender roles.
Women said, “We can work. We can lead. We can be independent.”
And they were right.
But in this push for equality, something unexpected happened.
As women stepped into traditionally male roles, some men found themselves at a loss.
Does that I hate this or am not in support? Not at all.
Let me explain why this happened.
You see, the script we’d been handed; provider, protector, decision-maker, was suddenly being rewritten.
This led to a crisis in our masculine identity that we’re still grappling with today.
Consider these examples:
In the workplace, as women climbed corporate ladders, some men felt their status threatened.
The traditional male role of sole breadwinner became less common, leaving us men questioning our value.
We men who were raised to be “strong and silent” found ourselves partnered with women who demanded emotional openness and equal partnership.
With more women in the workforce, we men were expected to take on more domestic responsibilities.
While positive in many ways, this shift challenged traditional notions of fatherhood and masculinity.
These changes, while necessary for progress, left many men feeling uncertain about their role in society.
It’s not that men were worse off – far from it.
But the rapid change outpaced our ability to redefine healthy masculinity in this new context.
So, how do we move forward?
How can we promote gender equality while respecting the inherent differences between men and women?
The best thing we can do is to simply accept one key fact:
Men and women should be working together, not against each other or trying to erase one another.
Let’s expand our definition of what it means to be strong.
Emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and the ability to nurture are strengths, not weaknesses.
Also, instead of a battle of the sexes, let’s focus on how men and women can complement each other’s strengths, both at home and in the workplace.
There’s nothing wrong with a man doing the dishes while a woman is out at work.
It’s a balanced power act where we all work to sustain our relationships with full respect.
Moreover, how about we educate both boys and girls about the struggles and achievements of both genders?
This fosters mutual respect and understanding and can create a space to work with each other to fill the gaps.
A male nurse and a female CEO should both be seen as normal.
Now some roles are best suited for men due to our natural biological inclinations just as it is for women.
But that doesn’t mean it can’t be done the other way around.
If your partner can work 80 hours a week on her business while maintaining her responsibilities as a wife, and a mother, then why not!
Yes, it is demanding and some days can be worse than others, but that’s her goals and aspirations.
I believe a healthy secure man should always support that and let his partner go through this journey.
Only then where she can make a decision of whether it’s feasible or not.
That’s why, I mentioned open communication many times at this point.
It’s the lifeline of any relationship.
The point I want to deliver is this:
Rather than generalizing based on gender, it’s better to assess and value each other based on our abilities and qualities.
Now, I hope that’s clear.
The women’s rights movement was, and is, crucial for creating a more just society.
The consequences on masculinity aren’t a failure of the movement, but a call to evolve our understanding of gender roles further.
It’s not about sameness, but about equal opportunity and mutual respect.
Gender equality isn’t a zero-sum game.
The path forward is not about reversing progress.
It’s about celebrating the healthy traditional masculine and feminine energies and traits.
Speaking of energies…
Understanding Masculine and Feminine Energies in Gender Roles
This concept is as old as time but as relevant as your last Instagram post.
We’re talking about energies that exist within all of us, regardless of our gender identity.
So, what exactly are we dealing with here?
Masculine energy is like the arrow that flies straight to its target.
It’s about action, logic, and direction.
Think of it as the force that builds skyscrapers, solves complex equations, and says, “Let’s cut to the chase.”
It’s the energy of protection, provision, and purpose.
On the flip side, your feminine energy is the river that flows and nurtures everything in its path.
It’s about intuition, creativity, and connection.
This is the energy that turns a house into a home, listens engagingly, and says, “Let’s explore how we feel about this.”
It’s the energy of reception, creation, and empathy.
The good thing about healthy men and women is that these energies aren’t exclusive to any gender.
We men can tap into their feminine energy, and women can harness their masculine side.
In fact, the most balanced and healthy of us do both logically.
Let me give you an example.
You in your masculine energy might take charge in a crisis, while your feminine energy allows you to listen empathetically to a friend in need.
The same applies if you are a woman.
In your feminine energy, you might intuitively understand your child’s needs, while your masculine energy drives you to fight for a promotion at work.
It even stretches to work.
You as a leader might use your masculine energy to make quick, decisive choices.
While your feminine energy will allow you to consider the emotional impact of your decisions on the team.
You get the picture.
So as you can tell, understanding and balancing these energies isn’t about reinforcing stereotypes.
It’s about recognizing that we all have access to a full spectrum of qualities and approaches to life.
The goal isn’t to box ourselves in, but to expand our range.
I think in a world that often pits masculine and feminine against each other, the real power lies in synergy.
It’s not about you being hard or soft, logical or emotional.
It’s about knowing when to be which and having the flexibility to flow between these energies as the situation demands.
This is where self-awareness and foresight come into play here.
We become more adaptable, more understanding, and more capable of forming deep, meaningful connections.
So, the next time you find yourself stuck in a situation, ask yourself:
Which energy does this moment call for?
Don’t fall into what is expected of you to behave or do here as a man or a woman.
What’s right and logical to do should be the ideal call to action.
Finally, this serves as a perfect time to talk about one key thing here.
I touched on it earlier but I can’t stress how important it really is.
That’s communication, not love alone actually.
Please don’t fall into assumptions or expecting your partner to read your mind or behind the lines.
Not everyone has that evolved EQ or awareness to see things from the third dimension.
Talk!!
If you are sad, angry or unfulfilled in some way, just voice that out. Plain and simple.
A lot of us don’t do that and end up being passive or simply not interested anymore or making any effort.
Passive-aggressive behavior and manipulation are like fast food for your communication.
They’re quick, they’re easy, but they leave you feeling awful afterward.
Practice being direct and to the point, not in a jerky way, but compassionately.
For example, let’s say your partner has done eating and left the dishes on the table.
Rather than sighing loudly, try: “It would really help me if you could put them in the dishwasher after eating.”
It’s really that simple.
To address this properly, let’s wrap this post up with tips and ideas to help you be more assertive and direct.
Your relationship will thank you!
From Passive-Aggressive or Manipulative Communication to Direct Expression
Recognize Your Patterns
First things first: you need to catch yourself in the act.
Are you dropping hints instead of making requests?
Giving the silent treatment rather than addressing issues?
These are red flags, I’m sorry.
Start paying attention to when and why you resort to these tactics.
Is it fear of confrontation? Lack of confidence?
Understanding your triggers is the first step to changing your behavior. So check that out.
The next time you feel the urge to be passive-aggressive, take a deep breath and remind yourself that clarity is kindness.
Use the ‘I’ Statement
Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try “I feel unheard when…”
This simple shift takes the accusation out of your statement and opens the door for dialogue rather than defense.
Small shift, big change.
Time Your Requests Wisely (if possible)
Bringing up issues when you’re both stressed or tired is a recipe for disaster.
Choose a time when you’re both calm and have the mental space to engage in a constructive conversation.
Sometimes, waiting for a little while is all it takes for you to get what you want 🙂
Now if you feel agitated about having that conversation, prepare in advance.
The easiest way to do so is to practice what you want to say with a friend or in front of a mirror.
Overall, the goal isn’t to become confrontational or harsh.
It’s about you finding a balance between assertiveness and empathy.
Direct communication, when you do it with kindness and respect, strengthens your relationships and builds trust.
Some days you’ll nail it, others you might falter.
But with each honest expression, you’re building a foundation for healthier, more authentic relationships.
And that, my friends, is worth every ounce of effort.
After all, would you rather build your relationship on openness and directness or manipulation and passivity?!
Thanks for reading!
What are your thoughts on gender roles? Do you think gender is fluid or fixed based on the sex?
Feel free to comment below 🙂
Until next time.
